Five ways not to get a date at the gym
Every heterosexual man in the gym has, at some point, looked at a beautiful woman who has graced the temple of the iron gods with her presence and thought, “I should go talk to her.”
I’ve spent the better part of the last six years inside gyms, and have worked with countless women, all of whom can now strength train with confidence. As it happens, the single ladies are plenty receptive to meeting someone at the gym. Unfortunately, most men approach them in generally douchey ways.
If you have a crush on a fellow gym-goer and you don’t want things to go any further, try one of the following tactics:
1. Correct her form
Everybody loves when a person with no expertise tells them that they’re doing something wrong, offers to help, and proceeds to look like a jackass.
Even if you are a pro, she doesn’t know that. Besides, nobody asked you, so leave her alone.
2. Ask to work in with her … on a machine you don’t need
Look, if it is 6 p.m., the gym is packed, and you really need to work in with someone, obviously go to the attractive woman before the sweaty bro. But in all other situations, there are literally 20 ways to do every exercise. Pick one and go do it somewhere else. You know this and so does she, so it’s instantly weird.
3. Ogle her until she notices
There’s a reason you see so many women train in hats. It keeps their hair out of their faces, but it also helps them avoid eye contact with all the creepy fuckers.
In general, people love being stared at. That’s why peeping toms get all the girls, right?
4.Complement her body or her strength
Again: you don’t know her. It’s not OK to make someone take off their headphones just to inform her you’ve been staring at her ass for the past 10 minutes.
Also, don’t be “impressed by how much she lifts.” For all you know, she might be going light that day. Plus, you really can’t compliment someone’s strength without sounding like a condescending prick, unless you’re scrawny, in which case you should be asking her for advice instead of complimenting her.
5.Grunt loudly and attempt gorilla mating calls
Why not get primitive with it? Bang on your chest, stomp your feet, yell, and throw weights on the ground. That’s every woman’s ideal man.
The bigger you go with it the more times she’ll look over and think, “Wow, what an asshole.”
The above are five excellent ways to avoid getting a date at the gym. But this doesn’t mean the gym is a terrible place to meet people. People start dating at the gym all the time. What’s the secret?
They act like normal people. If you see someone every day, and you’re interested, say hello. If you know she is training for a big race, ask her about it. Don’t smell like your gym bag, and don’t have a smelly gym bag.
It’s the simple things.
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